I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
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