My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
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