Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
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