What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
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