I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
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