What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
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