What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
What do lawyers snack on?
Plea-nuts.
I had one nutty nightmare last night, it gave me a kola sweat.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”, and the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
What do you call a nut with facial hair?
A mustachio.
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
What do the peanuts and walnuts have in common? They are both nuts.
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
Mr. and Mrs. Peanut finally got married and tied the nut.
ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.
ALDI’s nuts.
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it ala-mond.
Which nut is worth the most?
A cash-ew.
What is a walnut’s favorite Christmas play? The Nutcracker.
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Why was the backstroke done by the squirrel?
“The squirrel preferred to maintain his nuts dry.”
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
What nut is broken?
“A silly nut”
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
Why are walnuts the best secret keepers? They walnut say anything to anyone.
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
Go to BabaMail
