Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
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