What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
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