Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
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