I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
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