Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
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