Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
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