What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
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