Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
Go to BabaMail
