I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
Why does the jellybean go to school? Because he wants to become a smartie.
Why did the pineapple suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway? Because it just ran out of juice.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
Why are lemons safer than limes?
There’s no such thing as lemon’s disease.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
What if someone made raisins with juice in them
That would be grape.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets Jalapeno business.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling
The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.
ALDI’s nuts.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
I saw a real rob-bbery today. It happened right before my berry eyes.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
Why would an oreo cookie need to visit a dentist? To get a filling replacement.
What do you call two cookies from the same cookie sheet who fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg? Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pineapple.
When should you take a cookie to the doctor? When it feels crummy. What do the cookie and the computer have in common? They both have chips.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
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