What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long.
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
Cherries go all out when they go to festivals. You’ll probably see loads of them, running around in pie-dyed shirts.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What do ghoul scouts hope to achieve by selling halloween cookies? They hope to make a good first impression.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up? It blossoms.
when I smelled breakfast in the morning it was bacon me eggcited.
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What do French cherry parents say to their little cherries at home? You are mon cherry.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
Why is a pineapple so attractive? Because it keeps its juices flowing.
What’s a calendars favorite fruit?
Dates.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
Why isn’t there an organization like Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because nobody wants to quit.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
What is the suckiest fruit?
A strawberry.
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
Why didn’t the pineapple fit in with the other fruit? Because it’s rough around the edges.
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets Jalapeno business.
I've been on a real hummus kick lately, so as I came home from work tonight, my sister says to me "You're always bringing home hummus now." To which I replied, "Hummus where the heart is!"
Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
Go to BabaMail
