Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
What do you call a cow that has 2 legs? Side of beef
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $2.50. Deer nuts are under a buck
What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A buccaneer!
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
Once in a Blue Moon.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
Why didn't the watermelon marry the strawberry?
They cantaloupe.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
The plural of mango should be changed to mengo
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon!”
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.
Q: Why did the fruit go to the salon?
A: To peach her hair blonde.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
What drink scares defense lawyers? Guilt-Tea.
When I was in basic training we couldn't have salt or pepper.
Those were reserved for the seasoned veterans.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
How does lettuce listen to music?
Headphones.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
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