What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
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