What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
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