How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
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