Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Go to BabaMail
