I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
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