What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
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