What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
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