I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
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