Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
What kind of evidence can a donut not take to trial?
Anecdoughtal evidence.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
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