She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
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