What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
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