What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
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