What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.