How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”