Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
You knead me in your loaf.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
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