How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
What do you call people avoiding healthy fats?
Avocadonts.
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
Avocabros.
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?
“Well, this is guacward.”
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
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