What do you call people avoiding healthy fats?
Avocadonts.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
Avocabros.
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?
“Well, this is guacward.”
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”
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