Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
Avocabros.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?
“Well, this is guacward.”
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What do you call people avoiding healthy fats?
Avocadonts.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
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