I need to take this picture for my instayam
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
This foundation is rock salad.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Time to celery-brate.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
I hope for world peas.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
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