"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
I love you from my head tomato
What a spud muffin.
Keep calm and carrot on.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
I yam what I yam.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
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