What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
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