How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
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