Patient: "Nurse im suffering from bacon disease!" Nurse: "Baloney"
What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.
They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.
The bartender looks at them and says “sorry guys, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
What do you call real bacon?
Genuswine
What are pig criminals known for? Pigpockets.
My wife asked me this morning "Do you want a bacon omelette?"
I said "No, I'd rather fry one."
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What do pigs drive? Pigup trucks.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
If you can't get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
when I smelled breakfast in the morning it was bacon me eggcited.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon.
What do you call a pig thats wrong? Mistaken bacon.
How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?
He had a tip off.
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