Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
What do you call real bacon?
Genuswine
Patient: "Nurse im suffering from bacon disease!" Nurse: "Baloney"
How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
My wife asked me this morning "Do you want a bacon omelette?"
I said "No, I'd rather fry one."
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
What do pigs drive? Pigup trucks.
What are pig criminals known for? Pigpockets.
when I smelled breakfast in the morning it was bacon me eggcited.
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
What do you call a pig thats wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.
They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.
The bartender looks at them and says “sorry guys, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
If you can't get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries.
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.
What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?
He had a tip off.
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon.
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
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