Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
Keep calm and carrot on.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
Time to celery-brate.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
Everybody romaine calm.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
What a spud muffin.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
I hope for world peas.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
I love you from my head tomato
I think therefore I yam.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
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