Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
I hope for world peas.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
Everybody romaine calm.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What a spud muffin.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
Time to celery-brate.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
I love you from my head tomato
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
I yam what I yam.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
This foundation is rock salad.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
Keep calm and carrot on.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
I think therefore I yam.
Go to BabaMail
