If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
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