What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
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