Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.