H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
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