Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
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