Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
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