Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
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