What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
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