What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
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