A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
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