Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
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