What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
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