What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
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