Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
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