Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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