Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
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