What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
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