What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
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