Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
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