What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
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