When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
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