Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
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