Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
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