Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
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