Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
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