I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
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