A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
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