Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
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