What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
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