I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
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