Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
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