Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
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